


raindrops on our window (like tears on my hands)

by ofstrays



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-12-03 22:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20877191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofstrays/pseuds/ofstrays
Summary: They were two halves of a whole, but not halves meant to fit together.





	raindrops on our window (like tears on my hands)

**Author's Note:**

> got a burst of inspiration oop :') my first oneus fic and of course it's sad, please forgive me ;;
> 
> this is also unbeta'd and written at 7am so mistakes are def probable. this is also the shortest fic I've posted here and it feels really weird to not have more but I liked the ending so it stays

“We weren’t made for each other.”

The admission is quiet, hushed like the rain falling just beyond their window. Their backs are to one another, heads hanging low and expressions solemn. It’s a conversation that’s been looming over them for weeks and their eyes brim with raindrop tears threatening to spill over at any second.

“Not in this life,” Youngjo says, pressing his thumb against his palm, “But … the next one. The next one for sure.” 

Hwanwoong sighs behind him, lip quivering as he teeters closer to the end. “I’m sorry, Youngjo.”

“Don’t be. Sometimes these things happen.” His shoulders drooped, the space between their tired bodies spanning a whole galaxy. “We’re only human.”

Youngjo wanted underground showcases and world tours and living on the edge. Hwanwoong wanted children and a big house and a safety net. They were two halves of a whole, but not halves meant to fit together. Youngjo was rugged and wild; Hwanwoong was small and balanced. 

Hwanwoong rises, the bed springing back into normalcy on his side. Youngjo feels his heart clench. He doesn’t turn, and he knows Hwanwoong doesn’t look at him either. Shuffling gives clue to the blonde man gathering his clothes from the floor. 

Youngjo wants to scream, to ask for a second chance, to rewind time, but nothing comes from within. Deep down, he knows this isn’t his fault ( he wasn’t the one that fell out of love after all ) but he convinces himself it is. What had he done wrong? Were there not enough dates? A lack of gifts? Did he text too much, or perhaps too little? There were a million different reasons Youngjo could think of but he knew none of them were the reason for their current state.

Hwanwoong found someone else. There’s no denying that fact. Youngjo’s right; they’re only human. They’re young and reckless and polar opposites and it hurts. 

His boyfriend — _ ex-boyfriend _, he reminds himself — sniffles behind him. They aren’t parting on bad terms and maybe that’s what hurts them the most. They’re still friends, Youngjo isn’t mad, and he knows Hwanwoong feels so guilty it threatens to clench his throat. And, still, Youngjo can’t be mad at him. 

“Woongie … Ah, Hwanwoong,” and he misses the wince behind him, “Invite me to the wedding, yeah? Let me be uncle Youngjo?” He bites his lip and the tears finally fall within his lap, landing on the backs of his weak hands.

“Of course, of course.” Hwanwoong’s voice is small, shifting around the room as he gathers what little possessions he deems worthy of taking from their apartment—_ Youngjo’s apartment. _

Youngjo hopes he’ll take the photo of their first date, but he knows he’ll forget. Maybe on purpose, maybe not, but it’ll still stay stickied to his fridge just above the ice dispenser. _ So we can always smile in the morning _, Hwanwoong had said.

( Youngjo knows it’ll stay there for months to come. )

“Let me know when you make it there.”

“Youngjo …”

“Please,” he whispers, “For my peace of mind. Give me that at least.”

They fade into silence, both taking a moment to listen to the rain falling heavier against the roof. He raises a hand and brushes away the tears, and Hwanwoong begins moving again. The other man places a hand gently on his shoulder, palm warm and soft. Both of them know they shouldn’t face each other, even for a goodbye, but they do it anyway. Their eyes met, tired and sad and weary, and everything in him collapsed.

They say when stars die, their cores grow cold and heavy. They begin to produce iron at a rapid rate, the material slowly choking their insides until they can no longer breathe. At this stage, they reach a point where they superheat and explode into a beautiful supernova, sending stardust and energy throughout the whole galaxy. Sometimes they become new stars; sometimes they become black holes. Youngjo felt his heart grow still and lifeless, his chest becoming cold and heavy.

Youngjo looks away first, curling his arm back to gently touch Hwanwoong’s hand with his own. “I’m sorry, Youngjo. I really am.”

He laughs, but the sound is hollow. “You already said that. It’s okay. I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine too.”

“Bu—”

“You should go. The rain is only going to fall harder. I know you hate driving in storms.” Youngjo knew a lot of things about Hwanwoong. After all, that was once his duty.

Hwanwoong makes a noise, but he doesn’t argue. His hand drops from Youngjo’s shoulder and he hears him walk towards the door. The space between them has become lightyears.

“Then … I’ll see you around, Youngjo.”

“Drive safe.”

The I love you hangs heavily between them, resting on cracked lips, but neither dare whisper those dangerous words. Hwanwoong finally leaves, the door clicking shut silent behind him. Youngjo watches him go, and the room grows cold immediately. The sun keeping him alive had finally burned out.

——— ( o ) ———

  


Youngjo spots them together a few months later. The man is tall and spindly, with a bright smile and wild hair. They eat at what were once their favorite places. They post on social media about the adventures Youngjo wanted to take Hwanwoong on. His new boyfriend is a rapper too. He’s rowdy and outgoing and pretty, and Youngjo wants to hate him for all of the similarities between the two of them, but he can’t. Hwanwoong looks at Mingi like he’s the whole world, and Mingi looks at him the same way.

He’s not okay, and that’s fine. He won’t be okay for a long time, and that’s also fine. He’s only human.

Month later, Youngjo finds himself checking up on Hwanwoong less and less. His career picks up, he signs into a label, and he gets to travel the world. His heart heals, and then there comes a day when he realizes he hasn’t thought of Hwanwoong in over a year. 

They moved in together. They adopted a cat and a dog. They do weird couple things like matching Halloween costumes and still write sappy letters together.

A few more months pass, and Youngjo gets home to an invitation. He smiles, and this time there’s no pain at the sight before him. Hwanwoong always wanted to get married after all. He’s only a guest but that’s okay; Youngjo’s just happy he gets to go at all.

It’s beautiful, full of tears and flowers and the two of them in tuxedos the color of the moon. The vows are pretty too. Youngjo says a congratulations and he formally meets Mingi. He feels only happiness. He doesn’t stay long.

There’s no surprise when he gets a message from Hwanwoong happily announcing the adoption of their daughter. He smiles, because he gets to be uncle Youngjo and spoil her, but he also feels the sadness creep back in. He’s happy it’s Mingi, because he knows he never would’ve been able to make Hwanwoong as happy as he is now, but it hurts. It’s like he’s watching a movie of the life he could’ve had. There were no rewinds, no do-overs, and no resets. 

Youngjo still wanted underground showcases and world tours and living on the edge. Hwanwoong got children and a big house and a safety net. They were still two halves of a whole. Youngjo was still rugged and wild. Hwanwoong was still small and balanced. 

Staring at the message, he remembers. _ Not in this life … But … the next one. The next one for sure. _

“Next life for sure,” he murmurs, eyes fixated on the picture of their first date, just above the ice dispenser. Hwanwoong becomes his iron, heart superheating deep within. He explodes into a beautiful supernova that only he can witness, but he does not become a black hole. Youngjo forms into a new star, and it’s here he officially lets go of Hwanwoong.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twt @jisungpng !!


End file.
